I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Your cock deserves a montage
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
