So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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