White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
