Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
