i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
