You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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