I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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