you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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