Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
