How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
