she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
my liver is dry heaving
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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