I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You ruined the universe
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