he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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