I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
