Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
