the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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