Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
BRING THE BAGELS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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