how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
