no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
