Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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