is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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