You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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