I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
