this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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