So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
