Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
