woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
