I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
