Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she pinky promised me she was 18
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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