She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
