well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
