Tell her she can't have a vagina
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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