Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
