I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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