apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
