waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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