why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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