I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
