Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
