That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
