We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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