this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The struggles of a small town man whore
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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