it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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