I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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