In the future we'll all be gay
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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