Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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