i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
