I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think your dad took our porno
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
