what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
