he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
