It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
